I’ll come straight to the point. There is one simple secret to feeling and being powerful.
It’s one word: self care.
Not what you were expecting probably.
But I’ll explain.
Almost without exception, clients come to me with situations where they are NOT feeling powerful. Where they feel weak, not in control, overwhelmed, hard done by etc.
I’m sure you have these situations in your life too.
People just won’t honour your boundaries. They’ll not anticipate or respect your needs.
Etcetera.
What do you see yourself do in this situation? How do you think, feel, act?
Notice your thoughts. What are you telling yourself?
Bet your bottom dollar it is a disempowering story. AND you get into some kind of problem solving mode straight away. Which is a version of fight or flight. Either hide and weep or go at it in full armour. Neither are very helpful.
Because you are not in this moment powerful. At all.
You are having a trauma response.
A little girl that feels overlooked, overpowered, bullied.
Self-care, in my school, is radical self-care. It’s not lavender and honey. Not JUST lavender and honey.
It’s properly taking care of the little girl that was wounded back in the day. Learning about her broken stories. Holding her through her emotions. Learning how to make space for it, to breathe through it, to hear and honour her needs NOW.
Until you learn how to take that kind of radical self-care, it is almost impossible to be fully empowered.
p.s. I teach this to my clients and students all the time. Next opportunity is my Winter Retreat, 28 December.
